Posted on May 14, 2004 at 10:15 pm
. . . will I post an entry at 1 in the morning. Oh, what seemed like a cute idea at the time, now looks like something I would have congratulated myself over when I was a sophomore, in high school. I know better than to knit at that hour. I should be so wise as to restrain myself similarly when it comes to sending my crap out over the internet.
Trying to be funny,
thinking of Wendy‘s cat Lucy as some kind of Knitting Sybil, who not only dispenses wisdom to blogging commoners like me but who also does a lot of Wendy’s knitting for her, get it? And it takes all four of her paws to do it, right? Hysterical. Isn’t it.
To say nothing of taking Lucy’s name in vain. What if Wendy found out?
But what I was trying to say in my really unclever way is that I have had several dispiriting runs at new projects that seemed to swatch up nicely, only to find once the first piece was well under way that the gauge was, in fact, really wrong.
And so here I am, working through the beginnings of my second go ’round with Jaipur for the Linen Drape along hosted by Alison, and I am all the way down to size ones before I come near enough to gauge to call it close enough.
Ones? In linen?
Who am I kidding?
I know why Linen Drape is discontinued. It’s because it is awful. It doesn’t split so much as shatter, and it is so slippery that it sneaks off the needles when you put your work down to answer the telephone, or to take your Ativan.
I have to seriously reconsider if this is a club I want to belong to. I mean, most of the other knit-alongers are making sweet little shmattes like tanks and lacy such and suches. But me? I choose this enormous drapey sweater that has over a couple of hundred thousand stitches in it. And every one of them is going to be a pustulent oozing sore on my poor aging fingers.
I don’t think I want this sweater that much. And now that I really study the photograph looking for further justification to abandon this project, I see that this sweater doesn’t even look all that hot on the model. It makes her breasts look all droopy, and Lord knows I don’t need any help in that department. She’s a lovely little RowanBabe, and me, well. . . regular readers might remember that I’m a little bit Jenny–as in Craig. And I think that I suspected as much when I bought the linen drape. There was something very suspicious about that yarn from the start.
That is what I was trying to say.