Posted on May 25, 2004 at 10:34 am

For years, I have flirted with actually buying a Rowan subscription, but not being one to make many sweaters out of cotton or that show too much skin, I have generally saved my money and bought only the winter issues.
But now Rowan’s website has all kinds of gewgaws and free patterns and other things reserved for members only.  And since I am obviously a geek in search of more Internet activities to suck time away from the knitting that originally inspired this quest, I fall for the exclusive chat room ruse, and send them my information over a secure connection.

Today, my summer magazine arrived, with Audrey and the like now no longer secrets to me.  I get it.  Audrey is a cool sweater.  I also got to see Michelle’s in process Sunday night at Knitsmiths, and the ribbed shaping is a compelling design element, but purely an academic one for me on whom the sweater would look like half a dozen bagels stuffed in the toe of a silk stocking.  But also in the envelope is a present for me, their newest not-so-little Rowanette.  Can you guess what it was?

That’s right.  Linen Drape. Four balls of it.  In pink and purple.  For a placemat.

I am speechless!  How did they know?  Do they have spys?  Are one of you guys who read my blog sending notes to Rowan?  Are any of you on the Westminster payroll?  Are you hell bent on revenge for my changing the Insomnia Sweater colourway to something more attractive?  Or was it the crime I committed against Saint Fassett when I pronounced my first attempt in Glorious Colour a miserable failure?

I mean: Linen Drape.  Are these Rowan freebies designed to empty the warehouse of dud yarn?  Of course they are.  But are we supposed to be grateful?  It’s like Dennis Miller says of the two for one short-sleeve suits at Kmart.  If they really want to screw you, they give you three of these things. 

Rowan sent me four.