Posted on May 30, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I joined SparkPeople (a free weightloss site) yesterday, because I am going to finally face down those last 20 pounds. I won't be blogging here about the process, so if you're interested, and a Sparker, friend me over there and we can be buddies. This is my first post on my Spark blog.

I've done this before.
Usually there's a moment, a view in the mirror, a photo someone took, a pair of jeans that finally won't go on . . . this time there's no moment like that, it was just that I finally grew sick and tired of the quiet little voice in the back of my head that hates life as a size 14, and hates the belly that hangs over the waistband. The other voice, you know the one, the voice that says "You need a little treat, go ahead and eat that cake, stop and pick up a smoothie, it's just a little thing, and you are so deserving"

Here are other things that voice says:
"You need more sleep, hit the snooze button again."
"You can exercise tomorrow"
"If you stand up straight and wear Spanx, you won't look fat."
"That chocolate will get eaten eventually, it might as well be now"

That voice?

That voice is cruel. It's not that any one of the things it says is so bad, really. It's just that it never shuts up, and cumulatively over the course of the day, the many times I listen to it adds up to something harmful. Nothing that voice says, be it ever so easy to listen to, does me any good. By listening to that voice, I do myself no favors.

The voice I need to listen to is the voice that is the quietest of all. The voice that says "You're full".

Here are other things that voice says:
"The alarm clock went off, you should get up now."
"You've been sitting on that chair for an hour, you should do some push-ups"
"That cupcake does not taste as good as it looks" (more on this in a later post)
"Faster"

Today, I turn up the volume on the quieter voice, and do all I can to turn off the hurtful one.